Looks Are Deceiving
I thought I'd dive right in with my first official blog with a post that’s a little vulnerable – but deeply real. After all, my mission here is to empower women with the knowledge they need to get proper support early in perimenopause, so they can address symptoms and hormonal imbalances before deficiencies start affecting their lives in ways they never imagined. So let’s begin with my honest, raw story – because that’s where true learning and connection always starts.
“You look way too young to have SEVERE Osteoporosis!”
I honestly hear that all the time, and that is why I decided to title this blog - Looks are Deceiving!!
Let’s go back, say 10 years ago!
That is when I hit Menopause. I was at the age of 40, and initially had minimal symptoms. At the time, I was a busy mom with a 13-month-old baby, trying to juggle motherhood, work, and life. I thought I was healthy. I ate well (or so I believed), stayed active, and took my vitamins. I truly thought I had everything under control.
What I didn’t know back then was just how much hormonal support my body actually needed.
During perimenopause, our estrogen levels start to fluctuate and decline, and this can cause all sorts of symptoms – from brain fog, anxiety, poor sleep, hot flashes, weight gain to so much more! Can you relate?
Estrogen truly is our fountain of youth. Without it, aging accelerates both inside and out. On the outside, you may notice changes in your skin, hair, and body composition. But inside, silent and serious changes are occurring.
One of the most significant silent changes is bone loss. When estrogen declines, bone breakdown can begin to outpace bone building, which raises the risk of osteoporosis and fractures.
There are, of course, many other pieces to the bone health puzzle — including nutrition, vitamin and mineral status, exercise, and gut health — but estrogen loss is one of the most important reasons bone loss can happen so rapidly in midlife.
I still can’t believe that not ONE doctor in a 10 year span ever mentioned this to me?
This still blows my mind when I think about it!
I was completely missed for almost 10 years because I did not have the “typical” symptoms. Even though my doctors knew I had entered early menopause, not one of them talked to me about the bone-protective benefits of estrogen therapy. And back then, I had no idea how crucial it was to educate myself on this topic. If only I had known then what I know now, things could have been so different. That’s exactly why I feel so driven to share this with you and shout it from the rooftops – so every woman navigating her perimenopause or post-menopause journey is empowered with the knowledge I wish I’d had.
THE DAY!
It was a Tuesday in March (of 2024), it felt like any other morning. I got the kids off to school and rolled out my mat to try a new Pilates workout from an app I’d just downloaded. Mid-lunge, my knee suddenly buckled. I fell hard onto my side, trying to protect it—and shattered my wrist.
The pain was excruciating. After a rushed trip to the ER and emergency surgery, my surgeon told me words that still echo in my mind:
“You have the bones of an 80-year-old.”
His bedside manner wasn’t exactly comforting, but those words sparked something in me. They were the start of my journey of deep self-discovery and powerful transformation, and the reason I am here sharing my story with you today!
The Full Story
After what I heard, I was still in shock. How could this be? I was only 49. I ate well, exercised, took care of myself… or so I thought.
Because I was under 50, I wasn’t eligible for a DEXA scan in Canada unless a specialist signed off. Thankfully, my surgeon did, as he classified my break as a fragility fracture. When the results came back, with a T-score of -6.2 in my spine. If you don’t know what that means – it’s literally off the charts bad. At 49 I had severe osteoporosis, and I had no clue what to do.
Soon after I was referred to an endocrinologist. But the waitlist? A whopping eighteen months here in Canada. Unless I had already broken my back or hip, I wasn’t considered an urgent case. (I know… I rolled my eyes too.)
In the meantime, my family doctor connected me with a local rheumatologist who specialized in osteoporosis. She was the very first specialist I saw after receiving my severe osteoporosis diagnosis, and I remember thinking, this is it… she is going to fix me.
If only I knew then what I know now.
I will say, she was thorough, kind, and spent over an hour with me reviewing every detail of my medical history. I truly felt seen in that appointment.
But at the end of it came the recommendation that so many women hear after an osteoporosis diagnosis:
“I’m going to prescribe you a bisphosphonate.”
At the time, I trusted her guidance completely. I filled the prescription and started taking it right away.
But very quickly, something did not feel right.
I started researching the medication I was putting into my body, and the more I learned, the more uneasy I became. Just a couple of weeks into taking it, and after really listening to my intuition, I made the decision to stop.
From there, I went deep.
I immersed myself in learning about bone health — how bone cells work, what helps bone rebuild, and what drives bone breakdown in the first place. And the more I learned, the more I realized this medication was not going to help me rebuild bone.
And the side effects? Honestly, they felt terrifying.
That was the beginning of me taking this journey into my own hands.
I knew my early menopause and resulting estrogen deficiency were playing a major role in what was happening to my bones.
What I needed was someone who could help me address that root issue and support me in rebuilding bone strength — but finding that kind of support in our regular medical system proved incredibly difficult.
The first answer was always bone medication. Never hormones. At least not here in Canada. So frustrating.
And yet in the United States, estrogen therapy is recognized for its role in helping prevent bone loss. My hope is that Canada will eventually follow with the same level of awareness and guidance, because women deserve better education, better options, and better care.
Back to my journey — by September, the kids were back in school, and thanks to a last-minute cancellation, I was finally able to get in with the endocrinologist. (And little tip: always ask to be put on the cancellation list — it can make all the difference!)
He was a younger doctor, newly graduated, and I remember actually feeling hopeful. Sometimes younger practitioners can bring a more current and open-minded perspective, and I thought, this is it… he is the hormone specialist so of course he is going to prescribe me hormones.
But nope, the immediate recommendation once again was bone medication.
By then, I had already made up my mind that I wanted to do everything I could to naturally rebuild my bone density first, before turning to pharmaceutical drugs.
And thankfully, he respected that choice — because not every doctor does. Many can become quite dismissive when you decide not to take the path they recommend.
So, I went all in. I stared deep-diving into everything. Really it was a 360 lifestyle shift!
✔️ Bioidentical hormones and HRT - Wow what a journey that was! Stay tuned I will share every single detail with you!
✔️ Essential supplements (AlgaeCal, and Fortibone became a staple)
✔️ Root-cause functional care (again, I have so much to share about this journey!)
✔️ Whole-food nutrition (hello, 100g+ of protein a day)
✔️ Strength training, stomping, vibration plates, heel drops – all crucial for bone health.
It took time, disappointment, and a whole lot of searching, but I finally found the right people to help me navigate menopause and bioidentical hormone therapy.
The first practitioner I found was not the right fit, and that alone showed me how hard it can be to find someone who truly listens, understands your story, and is willing to look deeper.
But I did not stop.
Eventually, I found a compassionate functional practitioner, and around the same time, I connected with an incredible menopause-focused physician within our Canadian medical system.
And both said something that stopped me in my tracks:
“You were failed by the system. You should have been offered hormones years ago.”
Hearing those words brought me to tears. Honestly, I’ve cried many times thinking about how different things could have been. But their validation meant everything because deep down, I already knew the truth: estrogen is the number one protector of our bones. And with virtually none left in my body, it was critical to get safe, effective levels back in place.
And now I am so proud to say that I have increased my bone density by 33%. What started as one of the darkest and most difficult times in my life became the very thing that pushed me to take my health into my own hands and learn everything I could about bone loss, bone rebuilding, and advocating for myself.
I had to get loud
Sometimes I pause and reflect on the long list of doctors I’ve seen over the past decade. Every single one of them knew I was in menopause — yet not one ever checked my estrogen levels or initiated a single conversation about menopause or hormone health. Looking back, it still shocks me.
Eventually, I realized I had to speak up. Get curious. Ask harder questions. And yes, I had to get louder — always respectfully — to advocate for myself and my health.
I’ll be sharing more soon about what that journey looked like… and trust me, some of the things I was told along the way were unbelievable. Stay tuned.
Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) became a vital part of my healing journey to address my estrogen deficiency. For me, it wasn’t just a choice — it was a necessary step to protect my bones and preserve my quality of life. That said, HRT isn’t the right path for everyone. It’s a deeply personal decision, and one that deserves an informed, open conversation with your doctor.
When we finally gather the courage to talk about our symptoms, we’re often dismissed or misdiagnosed as most general practitioners have no formal training in menopause. This makes it incredibly challenging to have that conversation let alone start managing it!
Because of this journey I put together the ultimate resource just for you: “What to Ask Your Doctor in Perimenopause – Questions, Labs, Clarity.” This toolkit is designed to empower you with the right words, the right questions, and the clarity you need to advocate for your health. When you’re ready to get answers — you’ll know exactly where to start. You can find all the information at the bottom of this blog.
On an end note
Ladies, listen up — osteoporosis is a silent thief.
It sneaks up without symptoms and often isn’t discovered until you break a bone. That’s why protecting your bone health can’t wait until your 50s — the time to take action is in your 30s (or even earlier)!
I’m here to guide you through everything you need to know — how to build stronger bones now so you’re not blindsided later. Prevention starts today, not when it’s too late.
Rebuilding bone isn’t easy — some even say it’s impossible. But I’m here to prove otherwise. I’m committed to giving it everything I’ve got, because I’m not just living for today. I want to feel strong, vibrant, and full of life — now and decades from now, when I’m still showing up for my kids and, one day, my future grandkids.
Here are some stats!
🔹 1 in 2 women over age 50 will suffer an osteoporosis-related fracture in their lifetime. (International Osteoporosis Foundation)
🔹 Women can lose up to 20% of their bone density in the first 5-7 years after menopause due to the rapid drop in estrogen. NUTS!
🔹 90% of hip fractures are due to osteoporosis, and hip fractures significantly increase risk of death within a year, especially in older adults.
🔹 Osteoporosis is underdiagnosed: Only about 20% of women who have a fracture receive testing or treatment for osteoporosis afterward.
🔹 Osteoporosis is not just an “old woman’s disease” – bone density starts declining in perimenopause. Gut issues, inflammation, hormonal imbalances, chronic stress, and poor nutrient absorption can accelerate bone loss even in women under 50. Hello that’s me!
🔹 Estrogen deficiency is the #1 cause of osteoporosis in women. Ladies read that one again!
🔹 Many women are being diagnosed earlier than ever before due to:
Chronic gut issues affecting calcium and nutrient absorption
Hormonal imbalances in perimenopause leading to rapid bone density loss
Undiagnosed early menopause (natural or surgical) - that was me!
If only I had known then what I know now. I would have gladly paid out of pocket for a DEXA scan years ago. If you’re 35+ and haven’t had one yet, I’m urging you – honestly, I’m begging you – please go book one now!!
Every woman deserves to know her baseline bone health. Waiting until age 50 in Canada or 65 in the US might be far too late. It certainly was for me!!
Thank you for listening and being part of my first blog post. This was a very vulnerable post for me to share, but I want to bring awareness to all women to not only educate yourselves on the obvious menopausal symptoms, but the silent ones too!
Remember my friends: looks can be deceiving.
You never know what silent battles someone may be fighting.
What to Ask Your Doctor in Perimenopause Guide is the resource every midlife woman deserves to have in her hands.
If you have ever felt confused by your symptoms, dismissed in an appointment, or unsure of what to ask for, this guide was made for you.
Between kids, careers, meals, workouts, and the nonstop demands of everyday life, many women are trying to manage hormonal chaos with little guidance and very few real answers.
Inside this guide, you will learn how to better understand perimenopause and menopause, find the right practitioner, prepare for your appointments, and advocate for the support you need.
With printable symptom trackers, lab checklists, conversation scripts, and guidance on essential labs and next steps, this guide will help you walk into your appointment feeling more clear, confident, and prepared.
Because your symptoms are real, your concerns matter, and you deserve care that is personalized to you.
